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Cheney to Build Abu Ghraib Amusement Park

PHILADELPHIA, PA - After completing his final term in office, Vice President Dick Cheney plans to build a theme park inspired by the infamous Baghdad prison complex . Located just outside Philadelphia, not far from Independence Hall, Fifty Flags Over Abu Ghraib will be an entertaining tribute to the administration of President George W. Bush. “Running [...]

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Palestinian Athlete Refuses to Breathe Same Air as Israeli Team

BEIJING – A Palestinian Olympic swimmer has declared he will not “breathe the same air” as the Israeli athletes. This is not the first anti-Israel statement coming from the 29th Olympiad. Earlier, an Iranian swimmer dropped out of the Games because he would not compete in the same event with an Israeli. But Olympian Ahmed Khaleed [...]

The LexiCON: Conservative Lingo Exposed

com·pas·sion·ate con·ser·va·tive n. Expression used to make right-wing lawmakers and their heartless policies seem a lot nicer. USAGE: "The compassionate conservative voted against medical care for the homeless." #

in-tel-li-gent de-sign (in-tel-i-juhnt di-zahyn) n. Term invented to trick school districts into teaching creationism. USAGE: "The universe was created by Intelligent Design. Republicans, not so much." #

ac-tiv-ist judge (ak' tiv ist juj) n. the doctrine that anytime a court's ruling is contrary to one's own opinion, the justice shall be referred to as an "activist judge." USAGE: "The order for the Senator to stay 300 feet away from elementary schools was given by an activist judge." #